My heart is full....

I feeling a little overwhelmed today already... Its 8:30am. Its a good overwhelming feeling though... It has been one of those days where I woke up and my house is already clean, I was able to sit down a read for a good half hour with Abby and she didn't even leave...and I have just been touched by the blessings I have in my life. I know why I have had this sudden appreciation hit me so hard. It is because we are about to embark on an adventure. One that I know will be both mentally and physically exhausting for us. One that I know has the potential to bring us great joy or great sadness.

I have been thinking about it almost constantly... the thought of leaving my sweet Abby for two weeks. Some people may think this will be a nice break. Not for me. Being away from her for that long will be very difficult for me. She is such a light to me. Such a little sweet heart. I will so miss her hugs that she gives out so freely, and dancing with her to disney songs all day. I will miss reading her the same book over and over, and her saying "thanks mom" and "bless you". What I keep telling myself is that she is the reason we are doing this. It is for her and because of her that we want a child so badly. I honestly don't remember what life was like with out her, but I do know that I have never been happier. I so desperately want her to have the same experiences I have had as being an big sister. This too has brought me joy beyond measure. I just love my siblings so much and I count them among my best friends. I know she will be such a help to me and that it will teach her so much.

I am so grateful to have people in my life that are willing to make this burden of leaving abby just a little bit lighter to me. It is the hardest thing ever to try and find someone to virtually replace you for 2 weeks. Who will treat her just as you would, who will let her give them hugs every second if she wants it, who will put up with her sometimes demanding attitude, and who will treat her as their own? I feel so blessed to have so many people offer to help. My mom is coming for part of it, I know what a sacrifice that is for her and my family. And then my good friend is going to help me with the other part. She just adores Cindy. I think Abby would call the Davis family her best friends if she knew what that was. Cindy is always buying little things for Abby that she just loves. And I am so glad that I can leave know that the people who will be caring for Abby really love her. Allen and Whitney have been life savers more than once. And I love that Allen knows the exact routine we follow before we put Abby to bed, and he follows it to a tee. Even singing her I am a child of God before she goes to bed. He knows how important these things are to me. Scott's parents and Sister have also been wonderful and I know if she could my sister would be here in a heart beat.

Now you are probably all wondering when this is going to take place... and its not for another month. I know, I am for sure a worrier! I actually am going in two weeks for just a day and that is when I start my medications. And then two weeks later I leave for two weeks. The last week Scott will be with me. I know all the efforts that we are making will be worth it. If only so we know that we tried everything to have another baby. A part of me feels so confident that it will work... other parts of me are so scared that I am going to be so vulnerable to being disappointed. I know that whatever happens is part of Heavenly Fathers plan for our family. And I hope I can take whatever news I get okay. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive to our family during this time. I know that it is the prayers of myself and others who have gotten us this far.