Lazy Blogging

I know that I have been a very lazy blogger. Things have been really difficult for me lately. I guess I feel like I don't want to be negative So I will just wait until things get better. Well they haven't so I will just blog anyway. I won't go into details as it seems as though the only people that understand are those I don't even know that post on message boards with a similar infertility situation as I do. So I often read those message boards just to convince myself that I haven't gone crazy.

Christmas was..... Interesting. I was on a very very high dosage of clomid which made me a lot less tolerant of some of the things that have become I guess common place for my family. Things that I am not used to. This made it very difficult for us to be there. but I had such a wonderful time with my brothers and sister. They are soooooo good to Abby and she just adores them. They are willing to just play with her. To spend the time that it takes to get to know her each time after not seeing her for a while. It has always been a fear of mine that Abby would not have a relationship with my family. I am so grateful that for the most part I know that will not be a problem.

I love being a mom at Christmas. It was after having Abby that I really understood how much more fun it is to give then to receive. She just loved the whole thing from the smallest 4 dollar item to the most expensive Doll cradle/high chair set. She loves them all the same. Scott of course spoiled me getting me something I did not expect. I gave him very little direction on what I wanted this year so I was totally surprised. He got me beautiful ruby earings. I absolutely love them! It has been a while since I have gotten something so impractical. And to be honest I wasn't expecting much since my big camera purchase. But I was so excited! They make me feel so pretty! He also got me a beautiful Temple dress. I have to say I have the hardest time finding ones that I like, and he found the perfect one! We are going to the temple this week and I can't wait to wear it!

Since comming home from Christmas we have had some exciting events. Scott split his head open during ward ball this last week. He got 13 Stitches on his forehead. And we spent 3 and a half hours at the emergency room. We got there at 10:30pm and left and 2:00 AM. It was awful but I guess a kid who got hit over the head with a baseball bat by a gang member takes priority! Also, Scott and Abby were both sick the first week and now I am . Tons of fun to be sick on top of the already sick I am on the time on my medicine. But I am trying to keep busy, starting to scrapbook again and hopefully get caught up . As well as working on Projects for some friends. I guess in the spirit of the new year I will share my new years resolutions with you. I have only three.

1. Read me scriptures more consistantly
2. Go to the temple more frequently
3. Be better about Personal prayer.

I figure this trial in my life has go to be for something. So I am going to use it as a motivation for me to become closer to my savior. And hopefully I will be able to deal with it all better. In the meantime I am so glad to have a wonderful husband who is so understanding, so Patient and so loving to me through all of this. And a wonderful daughter that comforts me when things are sad. For some reason I believe her more than anyone else when she says "its okay mommy". She is such a sweet little girl. My sister is such a good friend to me even if sometimes I give a little too much information ( I think we are even after the whole nose thing!) She listens, and I think besides scott she is the only one that wants me to have a baby as bad as I do! Thanks for letting me vent. It has been inside for a while and it feels good to let it all out. Now I can take a deep breath as I start all over again......